October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month
A Special Article By: Yosifah Rose
"C" is for Cancer, but mostly for: COURAGE
An article by Yosifah Rose.
Print or publish only with author's permission. Copyright 2006.
February 9, 2006
yosifah@yosifah.com * www.yosifah.com
October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. However, for me, breast cancer awareness began on August 5th, 2003, the day that I received the phone call from my surgeon telling me that the lump that she had removed from my breast the previous day was cancerous, specifically invasive ductal carcinoma.
Before that phone call, I was serenely oblivious to breast cancer. Articles and discussions on the subject filled me with sympathy for the victims, but I filed all other information on the subject under the "does not apply to me" part of my brain. I was not in the age bracket to receive annual mammograms. However, I did do monthly self-exams - primarily to keep my nagging co-worker placated. She was a young woman with a strong family history of breast cancer and was strident that every woman at our place of employment be responsible for her own breast health. It's lucky for me that she was a pest. Also, lucky for me, my cancer was on the margin of my left breast, and so I could feel the lump every time I washed under my arm.
Nevertheless, the suspicious lump did not send me running to the doctor. I am a professional belly dancer, a dance instructor, and a musician. I live by a day-timer chock full of classes, gigs, workshops, and travel. I did not mention the "lump" to anyone: not even to my husband and best friend Nathan and especially not to my hyper-alert co-worker. For six months, I remained happily in denial despite the fact that the lump was getting noticeably bigger. Finally, when it felt about the size of a large walnut, it was time for my annual GYN exam. At the appointment, I almost forgot to mention the lump to my doctor. At the end of the exam, when she asked me her routine closing question: "Have you noticed any changes, do you have any concerns, or do you have questions for me?" I remember to ask her to check that little "lump."
That little lump turned into a life-altering ordeal. Three surgeries, four cycles of AC chemotherapy, and thirty-three radiation treatments later, I was bald as a bowling ball and officially "in remission." Of course, I danced throughout my treatments, with brief time off after my surgeries and for a few days after each chemo treatment. The Belly Dancing community sustained me with a great deal of emotional support, listening to and playing Middle Eastern music kept me moving and feeling alive, and the costumes, makeup, and a straight shoulder-length dark brown WIG kept me dancing gigs and feeling young and beautiful!
This afternoon, I am scheduled for my one of my routine three-month checkups with my oncologist, Dr. Michael P. Sherman, M.D., Ph.D I dread these appointments, even though I am grateful to and have great confidence in my oncologist. He and his Walnut Creek staff have always done their utmost to support me as well as my family in their care. Even still, I always feel slightly nauseated after walking into the oncology office because I can faintly smell the chemo chemicals, even in the waiting room. This is probably just one of those psychological Pavlovian conditioned responses. Maybe as more time passes, this response will fade.
The statistics vary slightly from source to source, but the American Cancer Society usually quotes these figures:
* 1 in 6 women will develop breast cancer during their lifetime.
* 1 in 3 women will develop some kind of cancer during their lifetime.
* According to National Center for Health Statistics, every year, 41,620 women die of breast cancer.
A diagnosis for any kind of cancer just 50 years ago was in effect a death sentence. Early diagnosis and more advanced treatments have greatly increased cancer survival. I have met many breast cancer survivors among dancers and musicians in the Belly Dance community. Many of these women reached out to me with great compassion during my treatments, and they were and continue to be strong role-models for me as examples of courage and survival.
Mary Ellen Donald, a three time cancer survivor, was my first Middle Eastern drumming teacher, and she is a dear friend and a true hero to me. She was the first person outside of my immediate family that I called the day after my diagnosis. Despite her busy schedule, she talked to me for over two hours. She said something to me during that conversation that I still repeat to myself every morning. She advised me that though the treatments were difficult, that I was not in fact going through the worst trial that I would face. She warned me that once I survived the immediate trauma of cancer treatment, my greatest enemy would be FEAR: daily fear of reoccurrence. She warned me that fear could consume me if I did not consciously chose not to allow it to. She said
that every morning she wakes up with a choice: She can live in fear of reoccurrence or she can live joyfully, fully, and courageously by embracing LIFE and LIVING her life to the fullest. She said that every day she consciously chooses LIFE and JOY.
Mary Ellen's survivor wisdom and insight has made a dramatic impact upon my life, and her words are the very reason that I chose to write this article. October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, but I did not intend this article to be read and then forgotten in October! I offer these words of advise to you:
Every morning, regardless of your circumstances, I urge you to put aside fear, and instead choose to embrace LIFE and JOY;
Every night, offer thanks and gratitude to your deity, whatever higher power that you believe in, for having given you the gift and opportunity of another day of growth, joy, and living;
Every month, conduct self-breast-exams;
Every year, get annual check-ups; and, whenever you have a lump or unusual symptoms that last for more than two weeks, consult a doctor.
Be aware and be wise, but do not live in fear. I invite you to join Mary Ellen Donald and I in living joyfully, abundantly, and courageously. Live, laugh, love, sing, dance, drum, and follow the music in your heart for the JOY of it!
I have a framed postcard in my house that sums up my daily mantra:
The brave don't live forever,
but the cautious don't live at all. Here is to the brave!
