(As printed in the Winter 2007 Issue Jan/Feb/March of The Belly Dancer Magazine)
Mary Ellen Donald * our Belly Dance Treasure!
By: Nabeela el Shalimar (c)
Wow! What a statement! This is not written lightly. I have written this article so many times. Then on reading it to myself, I'd think, no there is more. There is more to tell, more to understand. This does not do her justice. Go deeper. Again, I was all set to turn in my copy and it did not make muster with me. Back to the drawing, I mean keyboard. To be honest this article has been an emotion filled two years in the typing. The only excuse I have for such dallying is I am blown away by this seemingly quiet and unassuming woman. I have had the time of my life trying to decide the angle, approach, depth, scope of the information to use in the telling. There is plenty of information available. She is articulate, resourceful, artistic, learned, determined, open, confident and also personable, vulnerable, caring and talented. Still I looked harder. I looked longer. I dug into the web, old dance publications, past advertisements and booklets to find that really "neat" corner that no one else had delved into. Nah, to gimmicky. I really want you to know what a phenomenon Mary Ellen Donald is. Her accomplishments are outstanding. They would do a number of people proud. But I get ahead of myself. Let me start at the beginning. Get comfortable, it will be quite a journey.
Mary Ellen was born to Ellen Blau Troxler and Lindsey Troxler on August 15th. This gives her the exotic background of German, Polish, French and Scottish. She is a true American, with one sister Shirley. She thrived in one of the forty row houses in Upper Darby, a suburb of Philadelphia. She sounds like she was indeed a spirited child. With all of the enthusiasm that active children enjoy. From climbing trees, making snow forts and partaking in the snow fights they inspire, sledding, and doing all of the thrillingly terrifying things only children and the daring can dream up. By the age of eight things changed for her.
By her eighth year, love of piano music so captivated Mary Ellen that for the next eight years she worked very hard to afford the pleasure of lessons. She would practice at her teachers home five days a week. In that same, her eighth year she was diagnosed with macular degeneration also called choreo retinitis. This creates scar tissue on the retina and will lead to loss of the central vision. Each person is different so Mary Ellen had not idea how long or how much vision she would retain, or lose, or when this would happen. She learned to rely on peripheral (side) vision. Undaunted Mary Ellen continued to pursue the activities of her youth. She ran, jumped, swam, ice skated and participated in many team sports.
Mary Ellen loved to learn then and still does today. Health difficulties not-withstanding she graduated valedictorian from high school. Normally she does not rely on a cane, preferring the personal touch of working with people. She reads in Braille but finds that slow going. Today she still has a love of reading, active pursuits, music (a large variety of styles, thank you), travel and from what I gather keeping her life "fresh". Her love of music has taken her in many directions. In 1963 and 1964 she spent her junior year of college in Spain getting an education with a Mediterranean slant. While there she took up the guitar, lessons and all with no specific future for it in mind. After returning to the USA she finished her senior year of college, finishing Phi Beta Kappa. After this Mary Ellen was off to San Francisco.
Her parents had met in San Francisco so she was interested in seeing this golden land. Coming from the mid-west with all of the snow (a lot of snow…snow that stays and stays) I can see how this could be an easy choice. For me it would be. You see, I don't do cold well. And snow, that stays… and stays… you know… and stays. Additionally she had a lot of extended family in the area to help her get acclimated. As she states in her bio: "what a time to hit San Francisco! Flower girls, be-ins, LSD candy, psychedelic ice cream…hippies…sexual unraveling…and racial intermingling." After a few months of living with relatives she moved into her own place and began her life of semi-self sufficiency. With help from various agencies she did well.
Over the next few years she married and gave birth to her son. Never one to wait for life to find her in 1966 Mary Ellen went back to school. By 1969 at UC Berkley she obtained a masters degree in psychiatric social work. Before putting this new degree to work she moved on to a new interest. Six months before, in February of 1969 she went with a friend to her first belly dance class. She writes enthralled, I say hooked. Mary Ellen not only took weekly classes but she practiced too. For many hours a week she practiced. This dedication is wonderful to read about. Those music lessons paid off. Her instructor was Jamila Salimpour. At Jamila's suggestion, with her strong musical background she was encouraged to learn to play the drum. After a few (two) lessons she was off to the Renaissance Faire, every week-end, both Saturday and Sunday, all day, for a month. I call this a "trial by fire" and an early show of true dedication and love for this art form. Maybe this was to-much-to-soon. Not long after Mary Ellen took her drums home and worked on her own. At least for the next eighteen months she works alone. As fate would have it in 1971 she found out about two other Living Treasures in out belly dance world, Bert Balladine and Vince Delgado. Now are we learning something here? Mary Ellen has the will to learn, practice, and try new experiences. These attributes brought her to a lovely place in her life. (Brings tears to my eyes even now) In this class at the time was another music great and future friend Mimi Spencer.
I would say she found herself in very good company that evening. Over the next year she and Bert worked out a partnership. He taught her the dance and she played drums in exchange for her lessons. Again those early piano years taught her more than she knew.
As she practiced her drum at home, her students found her. You know how it goes, someone ask ya to teach, and ya gotta do it. It would be selfish not to. I mean, how could a person look in the mirror? Bert helped spread the word and Mary Ellen was in business. For one so well acquainted with music this entailed teaching students to read music, compiling exercises," getting it together" OMG! Teaching zills was a natural outcome with many of the same challenges. Finally, buttoning herself down and working with a host of friends (volunteering) and some professionals, thirty years ago she gave birth again. This time it was twins, and she named them "Doumbec Delight" and "Mastering Finger Cymbals". After this came the cassettes to accompany the books. A new career opened up for Mary Ellen. A new corner was turned. These books where a major project. It all had to make a coherent whole. Again I remind you that Mary Ellen Donald is site challenged. At this point in her life she could not see the page, read the words or notes. There was no handy PC to enlarge letters, high-light or read it back to you. With her enlisted help each stage of the writing process had to be repeated at least four times. That means page by page…note by note… to make this whole document. But success always wants you to repeat the formula. So next was "Arabic Tambourine". Somewhere in this mix she learned to play the Tar. Maybe this was so close to the tambourine that it came easily. I find it so. Or maybe it is her life of musical knowledge that gave her the organizational gift.
Being blind is a constant challenge. Mary Ellen does not spend much time brooding about it. Blind in the physical sense is a fact of life for her. The asset is that when you are with her you have her undivided attention. The light and shadow world does not offer much in the way of visual distraction. Indeed she listens deeper and hears more. She has developed some wonderful lasting friendships. In 1993 she began working weekly at the Grapeleaf (now Amira) Restaurant. She played with the wonderful Mimi Spencer for years along with a host of others. Sadly this is coming to an end after 13 years. The current restaurant is up for sale. The various exposures helped lead her to success in workshops as an instructor. Subjects where taught in music rhythm, cymbal technique, zill patterns, and more. These opportunities took her too many cities: Boston, Atlanta, Miami, Alaska, Dallas, Seattle, New York etc. Over the years she has taken singing lessons, cooking classes, language classes, written articles, and other books, produced and co-produced albums. She has done many performances for the Egyptian Consulate, organized seminars and played at weddings. Mary Ellen Donald has put on many recitals (student and private) and drum marathons (yeah, quiet inner power), annually performs at Rakkasah, worked with the Wicca Society, is aware politically, lectures thru the school system (elementary and middle school), worked as a children's choir director. As you can tell she stays involved socially.
Mary Ellen is quick to point out that she did not accomplish these things on her own. She studied before class, after classes, sought out the best she could find to work with. I think she did an admirable job. She can drop names with the best and for her it is about her life not to impress. She has a host of reliable friends. Her neighbors look out after her. She has a loving son on call in an emergency. An ongoing catalog of helpers to keep her in the loop of activities she cares about. She has had a long career. The joy of doing what you love will always win out and keep you going.
This article only addresses who Mary Ellen Donald is and how she got from Darby to dumbec. There is still much to tell. Accessing the assets of her work, the subject/s and thoroughness of her efforts comes next. There is pioneer work and many a gem to be found. You will want to seek out the products she has spent the majority of her adult life perfecting for us.
Until we meet again, Forever Dancing . . . Nabeela el Shalimar
