As Printed in the Quarter 3/05 (July/Aug/Sept) Issue of The Belly Dancer Magazine

Etiquette * Ethics * More Than Mere Words

By Zaina Hart with excerpts from Friends and Sister Dancers

     In the last issue we announced a new column about Dance "Etiquette" in which we would discuss issues facing our community.  In general "ethics and basically just good manners" (by the way - how many of you remember the Wendy Ward Charm School? <grinning>).  We see, time and time again, "issues" pop up either at events/venues, in class, on the internet, etc. and often we are left wondering "why" this or that behavior. We hope to offer solutions, advice, and ways to fix problems and questions that arise.  I have received a number of e-mails over the last few years, asking questions and expressing frustrations over specific issues.  It is my idea to collectively address these issues and hopefully come to positive, proactive solutions. 

     Here is what I discovered when researching the internet on "Etiquette" which is defined as:  the rules of behavior, standard in society.  And, also the following statement:  Etiquette fundamentally prescribes and restricts the ways in which people interact with each other, and show their respect for other people by conforming to the norms of society.  Modern etiquette instructs us to greet friends and acquaintances with warmth and respect, refrain from insults and prying curiosity, offer hospitality equally and generously to our guests, contribute to conversations without dominating them, offer a chair or a helping arm to those who need it, arrive promptly when expected and comfort the bereaved. 

     As we go forward - - with this first column and those in the future, I would like for us to keep the above in mind. 

     I recently posted to the Yahoo Belly Dancer Magazine Group the following comment/question which has become our first topic for this column. (please e-mail me if you are interested in joining this group)  We had quite a bit of group response as well as off group response.

    "Giving credit where credit is due"!  What is the best way to do this?  How much is too much?

     It is confusing that some dancers seldom and/or some "never" credit their teachers. This is not just a verbal omission from some but as well an omission from bios. We have heard comment like:   "I watch a lot of videos", or it only takes me a few classes to learn everything a teacher knows", or "I never took any lessons from her/him", but then you see, right there as proof, signature moves that tell the tale so to speak of where/who they studied with.  Equally, to see a dancer list each and every workshop/instructor they have been too - - well, sometimes just too much and doesn't paint an accurate picture.

     Nearly everyone who commented did seem to agree that we should always credit our teachers.  Those with whom we studied continuously and those who have touched us briefly (as in workshops), who, in that brief time have had a profound impact on our style and/or current teaching methods. 

     Melanie Nasson-Kurgpold offered the following:  Thank you for bringing this issue up. I am always on the fence on this one. Two questions go through h my mind when dealing with this issue for my classes, website, etc.  1) Am I giving enough credit where credit is due? Or 2) Am I sounding like I'm name dropping too much?  Personally, I am always happy to credit those who have helped me along the way. At the same time, from a marketing standpoint, I am concerned about the potential for negative opinions of those who seem to frown upon what may look like name dropping (as if that is the only reason to acknowledge another person publicly) and look at name dropping as touting oneself for more than one has got.

     Further Melanie suggested this fix:  Keep a balance so that you give credit where credit is due and at the same time not putting yourself out there as a name dropper without anything of yourself to offer. However, if you ask me straight out what I've studied and who I've studied with, I'll give it to you as straight as I can remember it.

     Nadiyah offered:  This is a good topic for discussion and it could lead to a variety of directions. And with each direction, there are so many variables to consider.

     Nadiyah's suggested fix:  A teacher who has been the sole influence on a dancer's life would more likely see her/his name as a major reference in the dancer's bio. Whereas a teacher who has provided a small portion of instruction and influence in the dancer's life may see his/her name lower in the bio section.  Also, there may be a particular lesson, performance, or other experience that had a profound impact on the dancer.  Although this special event was small in time comparison, it could be huge in overall impact.

     Stepping away from the bio information and moving into teaching:  When teaching particular moves or combinations of moves that I have only seen with a particular dancer, I tell the students/audience/customers where I saw the move or combination. So, basically we agree giving credit to our foundational teachers is important. 

     Noel:  What about workshops? In the 5 years I have been dancing I have had 3 "trainers" and I would say probably 20 or so workshop instructors.  For those that have been dancing longer I can't imagine what the numbers are! Now, when I have a 2-4 hour workshop with someone, verses months or years of training with them, do they still deserve as much credit as my trainers? Yes

     Noel offered the following fix:  I have trained under "NAME" from "location," "NAME" from "location," and "NAME" from "location" over the last XX years.  I have also taken workshops from and studied with "NAME," "NAME," and "NAME."  .

     Saroya Poirier offered:  If you feel that others had more affect upon you, list your first teacher as the one who got you started at the bottom of your list.  Or list your teachers in order of importance to you. 

     Now, all this lead to comments and questions about teachers who are territorial and/or unkind to their students.  As well, this discussion led to comments about teachers who don't continue their own studies and who perhaps have become stagnant.

     Nadira commented:  Having a territorial teacher is a disservice to student dancers because they are in essence shut off from the community and/or finding a style that best suits them. No one teacher can teach you every single aspect of the dance. That is the joy of having a variety of teachers...each have strong points to bring to the table.  It is also surprising how many dancers do not (or will not) give their primary teacher credit.

     Zaina:  There are those teachers who are simply not willing in any way, shape or form to share their students with another local teacher. In our area (Portland Metro) there are many students who take from more than one teacher and most of us seem to be fine with this, actually encouraging our students to study with the other local teachers. Study with who your heart and body tell you to study with. Not all forms of this dance are comfortable for all body types or personalities. The only way to find your true style and dance personality is to study with teachers who teach various styles, strengths and methods.

     Bottom line - - study with who you want and credit them when appropriate.  To credit no one - - well, no way you learned this in your sleep or by holding up a video, picture, etc. to your forehead - and we aren't in the "Matrix' mode yet folks.  (If we were, I'd be flying that cute little F18 across the river).  Lean to the side of good behavior, manners, and respect, rather than arrogance, trashy behavior and blatant disrespect.

     If you have issues, questions, concerns in your community - - we would like to help!  We would like to do so without name-calling, finger pointing, and without violating the Code of Etiquette as outlined in our very first paragraph. 

For giggles and some levity, Erna Woo (part time jokester/comedian) submitted the following:

1.                Have all students tattooed in a very visible spot their teacher’s names and what classes they mastered in chronological order.  Website addresses, phone contact also.  This could open up a lot of possibilities for creative costuming and maybe a new dance form as well.  (Belly Ads?)

2.                Have all students recite before every class in chronological order their accomplished classes, dates and teachers.  If they forget or are off key . .. . they must start reciting all over again.   Encourage competitions around this.

3.                Explore computer chips, implants, for those who continually forget their teachers’ names and info.  Programs can be written to suit each teacher.  This could be a very lucrative $$$$ business for someone.

4.                Well, if a student consistently refuses to acknowledge their t3achers in anyway and has a blank look on their face when asked, and especially if they insist that they are “self taught” or “channeled the moves” . . . there is only one thing left to do . . . They must be banished from the “Belly Dance Kingdom”. 

Well, these are just suggestions addressing this issue and are meant to stir up giggles and sneers…only in jest.

"Tell me and I’ll forget, shoe mne and I may remember, involve me and I’ll understand". . . Chinese Proverb

- - so Ladies, Gentlemen, STAY INVOLVED!